Friday, December 23, 2011

A Bloody Mary Christmas

Today's Miles: 1.5 miles....still on restriction and it sucks.

For many people, the Christmas holiday season is THE time of the year they look forward to most. As I age, I'm feeling the reverse of that.

Sad, huh?

I'm not a Scrooge. Or at least I hope I'm not. It's just that I don't get all giddy about Christmas anymore.

I honestly think it started several years back when my Grandmother died a couple of weeks before Christmas. She was the first person that I was really close to that I lost. That was a HORRIBLE Christmas. Then a couple of years ago, I had to put my beloved Tuff down the week before Christmas. Again....another HORRIBLE Christmas, for me at least.

So, for me, the week going into Christmas is actually kind of sad. Full of painful memories.

Couple that with insane people with pepper spray and guns trying to get that gift for their child, because nothing says "I love you" and "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" as much as "I had to fight off 30 other people for this only-one-left-in-the-store-piece-of-crap-toy-you'll-be-bored-with-in-3-weeks with pepper spray". But I did it all for you baby, because you're so special that you deserve to have a mom in jail for the holidays! 

This is why I do ALL of my Christmas shopping on-line. Seriously. I have NO desire to fight the crowds, literally. I hate shopping on any given day of the week, but avoid it like the plague from Thanksgiving until the New Year. I'd rather pay shipping costs that equal or exceed the cost of the gift. Not to mention I'm super lazy and love having stuff delivered to ME rather than me go and GET it. It also has a lot to do with having a job that keeps you on the road all.of.the.time. (I'm fairly certain that by next year, I will be paying Amazon to gift wrap all of those gifts too!)

Another reason I went into this holiday season wanting to yank out all of Santa's beard hair was because I actually had to travel the day before Christmas Eve.

I'm lucky enough to have our family close by and the furthest we travel is less than 50 miles to gluttony. There should be a national law about how far you are allowed to travel for the holidays. No one should have to go further than 100 miles. If your relatives live further than that...too bad. Skype them.

I, against my better judgement, spent the week prior to Christmas working in Pennsylvania, making up for the week I spent on the couch with the flu earlier in the month. This meant that I had to drive from the northern part of Virginia to Knoxville down Interstate 81 on Friday, December 23. I do not know how I survived. Actually, I do not know how all of the people around me survived. This is why I do not carry....I'm afraid I'll actually use a gun if I have it with me.

For unexplainable reasons, we traveled down the interstate in herds. There would be about 20-30 cars per herd....grouped together like a herd of wildebeest in alligator infested waters. You weren't allowed to leave your herd....or you'd die.

But no one wanted to actually be in a "herd." They did everything possible to break free from the herd - passing on the shoulder, riding bumpers trying to push people out of the way, drafting the car in front and trying to pass it on the turn, taking exit & entrance ramps at lightning speed to jump out ahead. But they just couldn't break free.

To give you a better picture of how insane and how dangerous this drive was.....Imagine having about 5 old ladies out on a Sunday the middle of Bristol Motor Speedway during a NASCAR race.

At one point, I actually got off of the interstate and went SHOPPING because I couldn't handle the stress of driving anymore.

That's when I saw Best Buy....

There really are no words. There are only questions.

Please note the print under Sparkle Ceramic Detailer......"Easily creates Edward's textured style in seconds"

Who the crap is buying this stuff?

Gotta Run....

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