Monday, May 16, 2011

Running from a Serial Killer...

Today's Miles: 1/4 mile warm-up; Tempo run 3miles; 1/4 mile cool down on the steady tready.

NO, I’ve not been attacked....

Prior to October 2009, that was the only reason I could possibly ever think of to run…..if there was a serial killer chasing me; with a knife; a LARGE knife; a large DULL knife; and it looked like I had no chance of kicking him in the sweet spot; and he looked like the kind of serial killer that would torture you for days by peeling off your skin, sewing it back together and making a Kristy Onesy Suit in his size, rather than just killing me quickly. And still yet, I’d have to take a moment to consider which was worse…being slowly mutilated or running….

Yes. I had really thought about what would cause me to run and what would not.

So what changed my mind? I was watching the Biggest Loser. If you are not a fan – you should at least know that they find some of the heaviest people imaginable and stick ‘em in some type of pseudo-Communist camp and make them eat healthy and exercise for 6 to 8 hours a day!

Anyway – these people, these morbidly obese people were running! I think they had to run a mile or something. But seriously – they were running….a MILE. And I thought to myself “Holy crap, I can’t do that!” Then they started showing clips of previous seasons’ Biggest Losers running a MARATHON! A flippin’ MARATHON! For those of you that do not know (and I did not) a Marathon is 26.2 miles long.

And that’s when it started. I woke up the next morning and said to myself…

“I’m going to run a marathon! If Biggest Loser kind of people can do this…So can I!”

Then I realized it was 26.2 miles. So the next morning I woke up and said to myself…

“I’m going to run a half-marathon! Let’s be realistic – Serial killers aren’t going to have the motivation to stay behind you for 26.2 miles.”

And 5.5 months later, I ran/walked the 2010 Knoxville Covenant Health Half Marathon. I added the “/walked” because I didn’t run the whole distance. I was NOT prepared for the HILLS! Which seems silly considering where I live and trained.

As for running from serial killers – I no longer need them for motivation to run. However, I am certain that I can now out-run one if the situation called for it. I’d still try to kick him in the sweet spot first.


  1. So JV, can you run with a knife? I'm not ready to tackle a full just yet. Maybe next year?!??