I want off this ride. NOW!

Today's miles: zero. zip. zilch. nada. none. nothing.

If someone asked me to describe me, I'd probably include the phrase "even-kiln." I don't typically get too excited. I don't like drama. I'm slow to anger. I'm not over-emotional.

If you've known me all of my life, you may be horse laughing right now. But, if you've been in contact with me for the last 3 years, you'd know I've changed...a lot. I've mellowed out. A LOT. I'm chilling. A LOT. I just don't let things get to me anymore.

And no....I've not taken up smoking pot. But I might.

What I did take up that has mellowed me out; has allowed me to take infuriating situations and put them in perspective; has allowed me to deal with sorrow and sadness without losing control...is running. Ever had that feeling - "I just want to run away!" I did. Literally. And it has been such a God-send.

There have been so many times where I've been frustrated, tired, angry, sad, depressed, and even over-joyed that a quick run, a hard run, a long-slow run put everything into perspective. Or at least it pulled the rawness out of the situation and allowed me to stand back and look at it with less emotion.

But right now, my release has been released. It's been 2 weeks of no running (except for that short ill-advised 2 miler..Shhhh!). I'm trying to let my foot heal.

A side trip.......If you do not have plantar fasciitis, get on your knees right now and start thanking the good Lord above. And if you do not have PF, then you can't begin to understand what it is....so let's try this....

1) In the morning, when you wake up, instead of putting your feet on the floor and walking to the bathroom....jump out of bed and land on a butcher knife, pointed straight up, into your heel. Then proceed to collapse on the floor and crawl to the bathroom.
2) After you sit at your desk or on the couch for about 2 hours, repeat the above steps.
3) After you walk a bit, the pain will subside....only to return as a gate-alerting chronic pain in your foot if you walk for too long.
4) From your heel all the way to your toes, there is a constant ache.

And in my friend JV's words...."I've got PF like a MF."

And just some more FYI:
5) You can NEVER go barefoot around the house. I've contemplated showering in my orthotic house shoes.
6) Throw away every pair of cute, sexy, high-heel shoes you've ever owned. You can not wear them. Even the not-so-sexy high heels won't work. Not even to church. I now wear my North Face hikers, Clark's slip-ons and running shoes everywhere....even to church. They go so well with a skirt, don't you think?

What can you do for it?

• sleep in a boot (check)
• wear custom orthotics (check)
• stretch, stretch, stretch, ice, ice, ice (check)
• physical therapy (check)
• stop running (check)

So, I'm at the end of the list. I'm not running, and it's not helping.

Back to the point of this story. So, I'm not running for what should be obvious reasons now. And what is only obvious to my poor, loving husband, the produce manager at Kroger's and a young lady at McDonald's on Broadway is that not running is wreaking total havoc on my emotional state.

I'm no longer even-kiln. My kiln has boiled over and exploded.

Last night was a fight with Mark, and I can't even begin to explain why.

This morning, I nearly cried talking to my chiro about the toll not running is taking on me.

I had a COMPLETE meltdown....I'm talking crying, snot blowing, 'I can't breathe'-type of meltdown... in Kroger's because they didn't have any butternut squash. And the produce manager tried to console me and tell me that you can basically use any squash as a substitute.....but exactly how do you make Butternut Squash Bisque without the KEY INGREDIENT??!!

Then there was the poor girl at McDonald's that forgot my Hot Mustard sauce. I asked for 3 things.
1) a 6-piece chicken McNugget
2) Hot Mustard Sauce
3) a large unsweet tea
The result of her amnesia was me flying into a rage over nugget sauce.

I've never been bi-polar and do not know anyone that is bi-polar, but I feel like my emotions are gaining frequent flyer miles traveling from the North pole to the South pole. This is the worst emotional roller coaster I've ever been on. I do not like roller coasters of any kind. Period.

And just be fore-warned.....please do not patronize me by simply saying..."Just find another exercise." You will not like the results. Just ask the girl in McDonald's.

7 days.

In 7 days, if I do not see improvement in my foot, I will run again. Why not? If not running is not helping, then at least if I'm running, my foot will be hurting for a reason.

And I might be able to keep myself out of jail and not get banned from any more stores in Knoxville.

Gotta run....