Running Towards Death

Today's Miles: 0.42 miles plus some gymnastics.

What I like about being on the edge of the Central Time Zone, is that daybreak happens around 4:30 a.m. This means I can go out in any town and run before my work day starts. And it's not dark. And scary.

This morning, I decided to get a 30-45 minute tempo run under my legs.

So, what happened.

This did.....

"What?" you ask.
"An intersection?"
"A beautifully landscaped crosswalk? With benches for the weary shoppers?"

This, my friends, is the most dangerous intersection in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. Don't let the peace and tranquility of this place fool you! It's more dangerous than a packed New York City subway platform!

"What's so dangerous about it?" you ask again, because you obviously are not observant enough!

Here, try this:

Is that better? Do you get it now!?


I was jogging along (during my warm-up), getting ready to cross the street to a long straight away with level sidewalks that lead to the greenway along the lake. I thought that looking at the intersection (where the cars were) to avoid getting run over by said car was more important than looking down to see where I'm stepping. I mean it's huge, and there's nothing scary about it, right? A few benches? Some plants? 

Big. Freaking. Mistake.


Ah, geezz! Do I have to spell it out for you??

HERE!

"What's that?" you ask.


That, my friends, is a death trap! I actually think it might be the head off of a sprinkler, but I don't really care WHAT it is used for.

What it does (to the unsuspecting runner - that's merely jogging through this HUGE sidewalk/crosswalk area looking at the traffic in the intersection to determine if she can safely cross the road) is nearly kill her.


This round beauty found itself under my left foot (the one with tendonitis last year, with Plantar Fasciitis until recently, and all-around-my-least-favorite-foot). I found myself trying not to land in oncoming traffic.

I'm fairly certain had I just let myself fall, my ankle would not be sprained and hurting and swelling and propped up in my hotel room with ice on it.

However, I would have landed in the road and most likely been run over by the oncoming traffic. (Side note: Where the hell are all of these people going at 5:00a.m.???)

I'm pretty sure the guy that honked at me while passing was merely giving me a "Perfect 10" for my mad-life-saving-gymnastic skills.

So am I just pissed & embarrassed for tripping and nearly falling out all over the place in front of a ton of people?  

Puh. Leaz..

I don't get embarrassed.

I'm pissed.
I'm pissed I twisted my ankle and I'm a few weeks out from a 10K.
I'm pissed it was my left one - not my right-"I'm Soooo perfect"-foot.
I'm even MORE pissed that I broken my running sunglasses during my graceful performance. If you've ever needed no-fog glasses, you understand my irritable mood. If you've ever bought a pair, now you really get it.

This running thing is going to kill me one of these days. But I guess we all are going to die at some point. Since the day we were born we were dying. We don't typically have control over how long we'll each be on this earth. Good people die young or in agony. Bad people die old and peacefully in their sleep. There's no comprehensible reasoning to it - other than we're not in charge of when or necessarily how it will happen.

Which makes me wonder - why is it when someone dies of a heart attack while running a race (whether it's a marathon or a 5K), people tell me to "Be Careful". Like running is going to make my life shorter some how? I'm fairly certain if someone dies while running they were either 1) going to have a heart attack anyway - somewhere, someday - regardless of their fitness level; or 2) trying to get fit and it was the 40 years prior to that run that caused the heart attack.

Be Careful out there guys! I heard that someone died while driving down the interstate and crashed their car!

Oh, and Be Careful! You don't want to choke on those cheese puffs your stuffing down your throat while feed your XBox addiction.

At least if I had died while running - whether from a heart attack or getting ran over - it's what I love doing.

Death is a part of life.You need to stop worrying about when and where you'll die, and just be prepared for it.

Enough about death. Time to take a few days off (according to my coach and therapist, the great  marathoner Jennie Vee Silk). The hay is in the barn. Thanks JV. I needed the pep talk.

Gotta run......

Gotta limp & hobble....

Lord I was born a ramblin' (wo)man...

Total Miles: 4-ish?

Was it because of the heat?
Was it because of the absolutely cloudless sky and 75 degree temperatures?
Was it because the first 2 miles had no shade?
Was it because my allergies are acting up?
Was it because I woke up with a headache?
Was it because I took (expired) Allegra about an hour before my run?
Was it because I was frustrated that the people I really needed to talk to this morning weren't available?
Was it because I didn't run until 10a.m.?
Was it because my new batman shoes made my calves tired?
Was it because my new expensive shoes may not be the right new shoes for my pitiful feet after all?
Was it because I ate fast food for the first time this week last night for supper?
Was it because I ate onion rings for supper and belched onion rings all morning?
Was it because I have grease running through my veins this morning?
Was it because I ate Fiber One cereal for breakfast?
Was it because I didn't drink enough water yesterday?
Was it because I forgot to take chewing gum on my run?
Was it because I forgot to put on chapstick before my run?
Was it because I used Sport "Sweatproof" sunblock and it ran into my eyes from the sweat?
Was it because my Garmin and I had an argument this morning?
Was it because I had to wait impatiently for that damn Garmin to charge before the run?
Was it because my boss told me yesterday that I had better enjoy my vacation in a couple of weeks because after that I'll be going non-stop?
Was it because I already feel like I'm going non-stop?
Was it because I feel out-of-sorts due to my work week being totally wrecked and changed around from what I had planned?
Was it because Mark & I were out late last night?
Was it because Mark's Grandmother is in her final days and I feel helpless and feel like she's simply waiting to die?
Was it because I'm wondering what in the world she's waiting for?
Was it because I have a very slow and sad hymn stuck in my head on repeat?
Was it because I haven't run with an Ipod in a very long time and I need a "pick-me-up"?
Was it because I haven't been running on the road lately - logging most of my miles on the treadmill instead?
Was it because my Mom needs me to take her to the doctor's office this afternoon to have her eyes checked - again - after a very serious blindness scare and eye surgery a few years back - and she's having problems seeing?
Was it because Shelly called this morning to say our building permits are ready to be picked up?
Was it because I'm completely overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to get done just to build a house?
Was it because I'm somewhat frustrated that we haven't broken ground yet?
Was it because I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to be traveling non-stop, building a house, keeping my marriage together, train for a half marathon, and somehow keep my sanity all at the same time?
Was it because I was chased down by two bitchy and bitey Chihuahuas and I only had one treat to divide between them?
Was it because I keep running the same 4 mile loop around the house when I get out on the road?
Was it because my legs are on autopilot on this route?
Was it because I'm thinking about joining a running group on Saturdays which would take away from what little time I'm going to have with Mark on the weekends?
Was it because I feel guilty that I want that, but pissed because I feel guilty for wanting it?
Was it all just because of a head-game?

No doubt it was one or most of those things.
No doubt my mind rambles to too many places while running.
No doubt I need to plug in some headphones on my next run to drown out my own thoughts.
No doubt I need to eat better to fuel a body that's training for a race.

No doubt my life is hectic and it's not going to get any easier.

No doubt this was a shit run.

No doubt it will happen again.

No doubt - I.Will.Not.Quit.

Gotta run...